||[Aug. 8th, 2006|12:17 pm]
After reading an article on "instant messaging etiquette", I feel compelled to state some rules, that in my advice, could make or break the "first" contact between 2 people looking to meet/date from an online dating site. |
You were on a dating site like maybe OkCupid or Matchdoctor.com and someone sends you a message that expressed interest in getting to know you. Maybe they "Wooed" you or just sent you a message with their screen name. You think you may be interested in getting to know them and decide to IM them.
Rule #1: Type plain English.
What do I mean? Don't replace "u" with "you" or "r" with "are". This may be fine with friends who already know you and know your intelligence but talking like that, can make you sound like an idiot. The same thing with constantly misspelling words. Check what you type before you send the message!
Rule #2: Don't IM them if you're busy.
If you're busy and think you may take longer then 5 minutes to respond to IMs, IM them another time. If you take forever to respond to an IM, they may feel you are disinterested.
Rule #3: Initiate conversation on topics you are interested in.
Asking questions like "what's your favorite color?" is lame, try talking about topics you're really interested it and mean something to you.
Rule #4: Save the sex topic for when you know them better.
Don't talk about sex unless you really know the girl is interested in discussing it. It can be really uncomfortable to talk about such a topic if you hardly know the person.
Rule #5: Don't lie.
A basic rule that I'd hope some people would know, but not everyone does. If you're not comfortable answering a question, don't answer it. If you're self-concious about your looks, ask to wait until giving a photo. Wouldn't you rather someone be interested in the real you instead of someone you made up, that the person thinks is you?
Rule #6: Don't make the conversation too deep.
Unless you feel a real intense connection the first time you chat online, don't go too deep into your personal life. If you starred in a porno movie once, leave that topic for another time.
Rule #7: Don't sign-off of the messenger without saying good bye.
If you have to leave, tell them. It's very rude to leave in the middle of a conversation, even if you've lost interest.
Rule #8: If you wish to talk to them again, don't wait for them to IM you.
If you feel the conversation went well and next time you are online, you see them online, IM them. Maybe they are waiting for you to IM them too!